The latest reminders in my life include:
- Don't be surprised.
- Truth is.
- There are no coincidences.
- Carelessness with the hearts of people = bad.
- So here we go..... Don't be surprised...
So a new curve in my journey has arrived. I join the ranks of those "laid off due to lack of funds." Never been here before, still adjusting to the idea let alone the reality.
But I can tell you this... I am not alone. Thank you very much.
I don't mean there are scores of others riding the same curve (though there are). I mean... oh goodness, now I have to tell you a true story and it starts when I was almost nine years old... but quickly jumps to today. - In other words I won't be long-winded because I'm respectful of your time.
When I was eight I had a tough year, I was questioning a lot and didn't have a very creative teacher. But what we did have in class was a science book, that had excellent pictures of... bugs. We lived out in the country in a little town in Ohio.... Hinckley - Home of the Buzzards - that come back every March 15th - Yes really and there was a parade and a pancake breakfast and a buzzard in a cage... a circus red cage. I am, er ah - happy to report, the buzzards still come back and the township has in that great American way expanded their celebration check this out: http://www.clemetparks.com/events/buzzards_sun.asp
But I digress, sorry. So third grade was over and summer was mine. I explored the hillside behind our house sometimes with siblings and sometimes alone. I loved to go into the huge wild grapevine "houses" with, warmed by the sun, just picked, blackberries and sit in the shade and think.. and eat berries.
- Truth is.
One day I was standing in the middle of the blackberry patch, covered in scratches from the thorns - because in the middle of the patch were the best and biggest berries you see.... when there just was a hush in the day. It was very sunny and there were birds chirping and all sorts of hillside noises but there was a very evident hush. I froze and there in front of me was a praying mantis. "Oh, it's like in my science book, I said out loud, "God you really did create this, this, praying mantis."
I realized two things in that moment. One: I had questions as to whether or not what my science book purported as truth was. And Two: I had a holy God moment right then. I spoke out loud to him and I felt his presence. I stood watching that mantis in it's praying position for a long time and then quietly backed out of the berry patch... berry-less and went home, I was pensive and silent and realized I had just experienced some truth.
OK, big deal, a moment in your little girl life, whatever, how sweet.
- There are no coincidences.
Little girl grows up, doesn't see a praying mantis in person ever since that day. So now, it is many decades later (never mind how many decades later, just a lot).
It is my last day at work. You see, this isn't just the loss of a "job". It is the loss of a job I truly enjoyed with an organization with a mission I believe in.... it was a sad day.
I have worked hard to finish well, because even though I was laid off I had determined that last almost month would be productive and positive - and now it is my last day and it is a big day.
Alright, so I am flying around the house finishing up a few things and suddenly decide I should water the plants on the front porch. Please note: This is something I would NEVER do before going to work.
I go to pick up the watering can and see something on the underside of the handle. Uh, yes a praying mantis. And in that moment, the day in the berry patch flashed back to me. And it hit me. It's not a sad day forever - It is today, but there is promise of tomorrow and I am not alone and that is Truth and there are no coincidences.
The praying mantis stayed right there on the watering can for three days and everyday I would crouch down low and look at it and its multiple eyes would look at me and its antennae would wiggle and I would think, "It's going to dart, leave, vamoose.", but it didn't and I was glad.
Now, last thoughts....
Carelessness with the hearts of people = bad.
Since that morning I have experienced so many people being careful with my heart. You've called and emailed and invited me places and given me hugs and coffee and dinner and good conversation and lovely glasses of wine. Thank you.
I didn't even realize it at first, not till Saturday morning, when I heard a song on the radio, a duet and the woman was singing a refrain ..... - "I think I see you being careless with my heart." But you weren't careless, and it really has helped.
I cannot get that phrase out of my mind, how many people have I been careless with, whose heart have I injured or bruised?
How about you have you thought about that?
I keep thinking of that line and I keep thinking of that simple moment when I encountered my first praying mantis and the last moment when I encountered the next praying mantis - and I don't know, I am just glad that Someone chose to be careful with my heart last Friday, that whole weekend, that Always. It inspires me - to be sure that no one can say I am being careless with their heart. Its hard sometimes, but I think we can do it.
Really how about you, what do you think?
