If you know me and my life you may have already figured out what the title of this post is all about... ?
It's this; I am going to become a grandmother and I cannot quite believe it.
Inside I am the same person I have always been and frankly at this time find myself muttering things like:
• It went too fast.
• I remember my mom saying "blank" (oh, gosh she was right)
• I wish I had done "this" differently.
• Will I be able to get to know my grandson living so far away?
• What kind of mistakes can I try (oh so hard) to NOT make.
• and ad nauseum.
It really and truly was yesterday I was pregnant and trading stories with women who:
• had never had a baby
• had at least one baby
• were pregnant with their first, second, third,(etc) baby
• in the midst of rearing
• done raising
• in the midst of releasing
• were full on grandmothers - who I might add were always just smiling like Cheshire cats and walking away to go out to lunch with friends
• etc., etc., etc.
It's no secret to anyone that I am one of those women that as a kid always DREAMED big about having kids of my own. My teen years were punctuated with babysitting and aiding teachers and interestingly visiting seniors in a convalescent home. I grew up with this innate sense of enjoying helping others. I still like to do that, help others I mean.
But frankly I don't like to do it 24/7. Who would? Um, in the past, me. For a large part of my life I did that - all the time. Now, I am very glad to help others from time to time. But now in the mix that includes helping me.
ALL of my close friends are grandmothers, veteran grandmothers in fact. It has been fun to watch them navigate the “becoming one” stage and see them figure it out. I only hope to do it as well.
• I will blunder
• I will fall
• I will make mistakes - all givens.
What I know for sure - I care about him... oh my gosh, I love him already!
I will really enjoy:
• getting to know him
• hugging, kissing and tickling
• playing peek-a-boo
• rocking and singing
• chasing and being chased by the little guy.
I will enjoy watching my daughter and her husband raise him and know they will do a good and thoughtful job. And I will be (am) thankful that they have lots of friends that will be around – what is better than another person that cares and loves? I cannot think of anything to top that. So when I mess up and say the wrong thing or do something I shouldn’t do I will take a deep breath and make "note to self" and then see if maybe it is time for me to take him to the park... or not. In other words, I just want to be a good grandma. (picture me, with BIG SMILE here).
