It just is.

It was a simple drive home but it ended up striking me in the heart - deeply, and now 2 days later I am compelled to share my feelings and thoughts... I didn't want to write this I tried not to, we are all weary of our world today - it's anger, pain, fear and injustice. .. but I must. 

   Wednesday afternoon:  Leaving a client's in an upscale part of my beloved city, I notice the air had significantly chilled over the last few hours. At the last minute I decide to take a different route home, (I'm the daughter of a man that loved to take a different route to "see what we'll find"...)

     As I drove down NW Everett St there were several young men on the sidewalk, laughing and shouting back and forth to each other, At first I thought they were meeting up, old friends glad to see each other, but then they stopped interacting, sat down on the sidewalk and grew silent. As I drew closer I could see their eyes were red, their beards scruffy and full, their clothes stained and torn. 
     My thoughts went to the men, women, boys and girls in my family and how much I love them all... grateful that none are on the street. 

     Then I began to wonder...
how did these young men end up on the street? 
what is their story? 
if I asked, when you were a child what did you dream about doing? can they remember? 
do they have any hope?

At a stop light, I see a young woman standing at the entrance of a makeshift, blue tarp lean-to. It's butted up to a chain link fence along the sidewalk and the tarp ripples from the cold breeze. She reaches her hand in and as she withdraws it I could see the tiny packet of drugs. Her back was to me... her hair beautiful; long and dark and curly. Her stance and movements made me think, she's just a young woman. 

     My heart paled as I thought , 
where is her family?
why has she left them?
has she left them or are they out here too?
how did she get here?                                          

I flipped on the radio, I suppose as a way to divert my wondering about the people I saw.  My mind was racing... I needed a distraction, a Thanksgiving story.

They were telling a story, but not the kind I was looking for. - 
"More than 21,000 students in Oregon public schools are homeless — nearly 4 percent of the student population."  

     Again my heart paled as I thought...
does that include the babies? (No, this is just school age kids)
do they have warm clothes and blankets? 
do they have food... is it nutritious?
just where do they sleep? they can't get a warm bath.....
     My thoughts were spiraling. I decided to do an errand I had been putting off. (I'm really good at distracting myself... aren't we all?)

Recently someone asked me why I am the way I am. It made me feel angry.

     Meaning, 
why do I have concern for others that have less then I do and 
why do I care about their plight?

     Why? 
I don't know, its just my heart, I care. 

Musing with a friend, he said... Lisa, this is you, it's just you. It's how God made you.
     So, that is what I will embrace, it is just me. 

So this is my plan.
     I'll continue to look for ways to help others and whisper a prayer for them as I drive along or help at the food pantry. I'll smile from my heart with my eyes and give people dignity, that which we all deserve.     

- Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. Wherever you live I hope you can find many things to be thankful for.











                   Norman Rockwell/Artist
Photo Credit/Oregon Public Radio/NPR station

Something Similar*

I was having dinner with friends recently - one of those spontaneous, "Do you want to stay for supper... and share our leftovers?", dinners.... Love those kind of invites (and they were really good leftovers too).


Like all spontaneous times it turned into one filled with rollicking conversation, which in turn got me mulling - 


 - Friend, that shall remain unnamed, had an idea for a blog.... You Are Not Your Checkbook ..... or Something Similar. 
*Hence the title of this post. 


Friend's point being, "There are a lot of people living in America right now that are very challenged by their situations and are in places they never thought they would be." (sort of an actual quote)


Friend was relating how so many have taken huge blows to their financial situations through the 2008 economic crisis, oh and 2009, and 2010, and wait a minute, good golly no wonder people are a little freaked, the 2011 economic crisis; that makes it the economic crisis that never stops or something. Right?


2008-2011 results: lost savings, closed businesses, revealed lack of 'some' people's business integrity, loss of jobs/ahem - hand up on that last one.


My friends surprised me that evening, I really don't remember that I was worried or concerned or voicing  "what I will do next" but they were so very supportive... brainstorming ways for me to make money without really working or some such silliness... Oh that there were a way! Wait, is there a way? If you know, tell me quick! 


Friend said, "You should blog on this topic I brought up and it should have a spiritual side to it because a lot of  people are despairing over their checkbooks, over their lives." 


So this  little mass of words is that attempt. And this post is dedicated to you, Friend.


Maybe I should be worried, but I am not. The facts, as I see them, are that this is not the end. 
And if it is not the end then we have, can choose, hope - 
Most probably most of us have a tomorrow. (I mean no horror there but the bottom line is we don't know when we will draw our last earthly bodily breath.) 
    - And if we don't have an earthly tomorrow 
                 - then we can know what is Next and embrace it 
                          - and breathe deeply and lift our hands in praise.


So in this little mass of words, in this my next earthly chapter; this is what I have come up with so far ~~~

I cannot tell you what to do. 

But I can tell myself what to do. 

And share it with you. 

Note to Self in Midst of New Chapter in Life; do These Things
1. Turn on music often.
2. Breathe deeply often.
3. Search your heart diligently and discover what your real desires and hopes are. Often.
4. Think about what it would mean to realize those desires and hopes. Get a plan.
5. Enjoy this period of time, it is a gift. Discover.
6. Search diligently and repeatedly, meditate, pray and seek. Activate plan.
7. Smile at people you don't know. All the time.
8. Cook for your friends. They will love it and so will you.
9. Apply for positions with regularity. Don't despair.
10. Notice Stuff. All the time.


 And now for your viewing pleasure (and mine again)...  


One of my moments practicing  - Number 10. Notice Stuff -


     Setting the Scene -
I was writing this post, suddenly, really it was suddenly, I looked up and immediately leaped (I wanted to write leapt, but spell check didn't like it so I succumbed to leaped) out of my desk chair (stop it, I know you are laughing as you picture that), grabbed the camera, ran outside, ripped off the lens cap and.... I just had to. Here is why.... 

All tonight, in that order, night sky coming on. Breathed deeply, yes I did. 


And then this happened ~~~~

And this is what I thought just then, "Sun going down to greet someone on the other side of the world."

To greet someone on the other side of the world. 

Someone who is struggling with who knows what.

And that thought, dear reader gave me my numbers 11 and 12.


11. Remember, don't forget, remind yourself, we are all in this together. 
12. Push back, get outside your own despairing head, it is a dangerous place to dwell, live your life today, it is your today.


Thanks Friend and Friend's spouse - you rock. And next time, I will make the salad.